Okay, the topic is missing a word. It should be "Living with your crazy parents sucks". My parents - or rather my mom - is crazy, and living with her is horrible. Definitely not worth the money you save on having a lower rent than when having your own apartment.

First of all, she's been a hippie and a very spiritual person for most of her life. She believes in anything illogical (be that aliens, magic, ghosts, spiritual mumbo jumbo, new age crap, god or whatever, as long as it can't be explained through logic, she automatically decides to believe in it), and that causes a lot of problems. You can't have an argument with her, because relying on logic will automatically cause her to feel that she's right. She also decides many important things by consulting a medium that is obviously full of crap. Right now, the medium's acting as some kind of marriage counselor, and is telling my mother that she's forced to take a lot of crap at home. This results in her being absolutely 100% certain that everyone's against her, and that she can do no wrong. And as an effect of that, I have to wake up everyday from my mom fighting with her husband for about an hour and a half.

What do they fight about? Well, from what I can understand, it's partially economic stress. This is perfectly reasonable to me, as I myself can get on edge when I have no money. But the second factor is that her husband's an ayurvedic doctor, and she feels that he's too friendly with his female customers. For instance, she would want him to kick out anyone who has intimate problems, or is interested in stuff that has to do with sexuality (which a big percentage of new age people seem to be). This is also slightly understandable. However, he is a damn doctor that practices alternative medications, and it's hard to get patients that doesn't have intimate problems. And their economy is crap, so he can't really afford to lose any of the patients that he does have.

Then, we have the cleaning of the household. I pay rent, and quite a lot for just a room. And hence I feel that keeping my room clean is my business, not my parents. Of course, the rent includes food and electricity, so I'm probably paying less than I would if I was on my own. However, she gets angry at me and my brother all the time as soon as our rooms aren't in perfect order. And cleaning your room everyday when you're studying is a task that's pretty tough on someone who lacks any skill when it comes to the subject. I'm awful at cleaning. It takes me hours to straight out a small mess, and days to sort out a big one. And whenever I actually get my ass off and do clean up, she complains about me not doing something else. To make things worse, she recently pulled out all her teeth, and through some kind of herbal therapy discovered that she was abused while she was a kid (which is probably just a load of crap, but you never know). So now you can't help but feel like you're picking on someone weak whenever you talk back to her.

Now this is nothing compared to what she's like to her husband. The guy works eight hours a day, while my mother's retired because of illness. When he gets home, he cooks dinner. He does all the laundry of the household and goes shopping for groceries, plus walks the dog. Yet, she always chews him out as soon as he does the slightest thing wrong, as she says that she thinks it's good to be "honest" about your feelings. Now, don't think that he's a damn wimp and just sits and takes it, he gets pretty vile when she manages to push his buttons (which she seems to do almost every day). And this goes out on me and my brother as well. Because listening to someone continually picking a fight with her husband all day long, and eventually starting big nasty arguments is not a pleasant experience. Also, it makes them both take out some of their frustration on us, and every now and then they say that we're the reason that they're angry at each other because we don't clean our rooms.

Another annoyance is that she practically doesn't sleep. She sometimes meditates and falls asleep at random points during the day, but she's always up and running about during the night. This is quite problematic for me, since I have sensitive ears and have a hard time falling a sleep when things aren't decently quiet. The times that she does sleep through the night is when she takes enough painkillers for her illness to dose off. I think she gets some kind of "hang over" from taking her meds, which might explain her terrible moodswings. I don't think she's an abuser, though... I believe she has restless legs syndrome or something like that (the doctors can't figure it out).

Finally, my mother has efficiently gotten rid of all of her and her husband's friends. She's paranoid and thinks that they're only using her to make themselves feel better, and that they want to take her beloved family (that she treats like shit) away from her. I seriously feel that she belongs in a home for mental patients. I'm not sure if she's gotten dementia or if she's always been this crazy. I do know that she has gotten to be more and more antisocial and more irritable during the last few years, though. And it's becoming a damn nightmare.

Now I might be making it sound worse than it is. I don't know. She's only as bad as what I say about 50% percent of the time. When she's in a good mood, she's quite nice, and she's always been a good mother while I was growing up (except maybe a bit over protective). Still, I can't help but hate her now. I hope things get better between us whenever I can seize an opportunity to move someplace else.

Okay, worst first blog entry ever, but I just had to vent this stuff :P

Im moving out soon hopefully, but now I work 40 hour weeks. heh

I thought living with an ANGRY mother was a pain - I can only imagine how it is living with an INSANE mother.

You do indeed paint quite a... colourful picture of life with parents. What are your options at the moment re: independence? Go from there.

That's probably why I shouldn't saying anything bout how crappy my life is compared to your situation atm :X



Anyways, that sucks indeed. So look for that nice opportune moment to get out. You hate your mother, you say... but she's still your mom, so you'll think otherwise when you move out.

Yeah, I don't really hate my mother, but she's really hard to deal with when she's not in a good mood. And I do hate her whenever she's angry. I'm sure I'll see less of that side of her when I can get my own place.

Right now I'm a student, and I'm not studying anything that'll land me with a decent job, unfortunately. So moving away from home seems a bit distant at the moment. Still, I'm pretty happy with my life when I get to relax and let all the stress dissappear for a while. I have a wonderful girlfriend, and my interest in game making gives me something that I can aim for in the future.

I'm from a relatively heavenly family environment, so I don't think I can be of any help. I won't pretend that I can understand your situation to any degree that will do you any justice. I do wonder though, what will happen to her once you leave? Although she gives all of you daily hell, isn't that because she is already living in a psychological nightmare herself? It seems as if she fights because she fears losing her husband. If you leave, won't that amplify her problem, since she would essentially be losing what she holds dear most?

Then again, continuing to live with her may near impossibility.

Yeah, I know the type.

Imagine your mom, except hardcore fundamentalist Christian... that's what someone I know has to deal with (not me, thank God).

Good luck man, some people I just have no idea how to deal with.

What I honestly suggest is that you move out, possibly with your girlfriend or a close friend, so you can share the living expenses.  I feel bad about what you're describing.  Why should you, or your brother and her husband, have to put up with that bullshit.  My mom has argued with all the boyfriends she has had, and I know how you feel with your sensitive ears.  I still live at home, but that's because I honestly go out of my way to do everything perfectly so I don't piss my mom off.  Yet, the things I do to be this way she probably doesn't realize.  There's so much more freedom when I'm not around her.  I find that I have such a better time when I don't communicate with her very much.  My sister moved out about a year ago, with her boyfriend.  She didn't get along with my mom, partly because she didn't want to conform to my mom's standards (and also because my mom took advantage of the fact that she's a girl, and tried to be completely controlling in their relationship giving her no freedom of her own), and I respect her decision entirely.  But for me, I'll get by living at home since I'm a guy, as long as I'm independent and there's isn't that much interaction between us because my mom isn't as worried about me being out their in the world by myself.  That's why I play basketball a lot, and try to get as many hours of work as possible, and spend as much time at school as possible.  In general, I try not to be in the house.

My main advice is get away from your mom.  When she does see you, I think she'll appreciate what she had a lot more, and you'll be able to see the good side of her that you know she is capable of.

Me too. Me too. :) Actually, it's not much living in my house, rather. My mom is working two jobs, so she is out all the time, and my dad works 12-14 hours a day, and I work 9. When I get home, my dad is already in bed because he works and early shift, and my mom is busy catching up on other things she has to do (as am I). So I see my dad for probably... 1 hour total in a week, and my mom for probably 6-8. We don't interact much, too much work to make a living.
Heheh. For me, it's not so much as what I'm living with as what (and who...) I'm living without.